Understanding True Biblical Forgiveness

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Forgiveness is an essential Biblical concept. A person who understands the need for God’s grace for his own wrongdoing must exhibit the same toward his brother. While this concept seems straightforward, there are many who misunderstand it.

In the Sermon On The Mount, Jesus told the assembled masses, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Mt. 6:14-15). Forgiving others is therefore a prerequisite to our receiving forgiveness. We must forgive others if we are to be forgiven. As is the case with many commandments in this sermon, Jesus focuses on the heart.

The word “forgive” (ἀφίημι aphiēmi) means to “let go, leave, leave alone, release, forgive.”¹ Whenever we forgive there is a sense in which we abandon the hard feelings we have toward the individual who has sinned against us. Yet the concept of “forgiving and forgetting” is difficult to fulfill when we consider certain sins. Can a loving husband forgive his wife of infidelity? Yes, Jesus gave only one cause for divorce but did not command divorce in the case of adultery (Mt. 5:32; 19:9). It would be naive, however, to argue that at some point the sin would be wiped from the husband’s mind entirely. Should he feel guilty about not forgetting?

Regarding God’s view of sin, Psalm 103:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Some use this text to say that because God forgets sin we must also forget sin. This passage is demonstrating how far removed our sins are from God’s accounting when we repent. All accountable people are guilty of sin (Rom. 3:23). All accountable people must “repent and be baptized” (Acts 2:38) with the belief that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, who is able to cleanse us by His redeeming death and resurrection (Rom. 6:3-7). If we repent, God is willing to wipe the slate clean. This is the “rebirth” concept Jesus outlined to Nicodemus in John 3. This is a useful concept in truly forgiving others. If one has repented having sinned against us, we should do our best not to dwell on it.

The world often teaches a concept of forgiveness which places the effort entirely on the person sinned against. To “forgive” to some simply means letting go of anger or not holding a grudge. While we are taught to “turn the other cheek” (Mt. 5:39) towards those who have sinned against us, and be ready to offer forgiveness, this does not erase the sin. Forgiveness is for the sinner. Jesus showed a condition must be met when He said, “Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him” (Lk. 17:3). The conditional “if” in this command shows that the person sinned against needs to notify the brother and the brother must repent for the sin to be forgiven. If we “rebuke” the brother who has sinned against us in a spirit of love and he does not repent, our hearts have no need to be troubled.

Keeping our sin as limited as possible is a must if we are to follow God’s plan. David petitioned God, “Cleanse me from secret faults” (Ps. 19:12). Jesus showed in the Sermon On The Mount that even our thoughts can be sinful (Mt. 5-7). Christians can ask in prayer for forgiveness of sins that are only known to God (1 Jn. 1:7-9).

When someone sins against us, God expects us to first confront the brother with evidence of the sin in our attempt to resolve the matter (Mt. 18:15-17). If this does not solve the problem, we are commanded to involve witnesses. If the sinner is still unwilling to repent, the church must be notified in a final attempt. This limited publicizing of sin is what James has in mind when he says, “[L]et him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins” (Jas. 5:20). God does not want us to broadcast sins of our brethren if it is not necessary. I have dealt with a situation where a person was willing to repent before a congregation about a sin that was committed against a fellow member, but requested never to speak to the fellow member again. Applying our own conditions when we need forgiveness is a dire mistake!

Let us remember to use the tremendous blessing of forgiveness and “bear fruits worthy of repentance” (Mt. 3:8). It is a joyous occasion when a wayward person truly repents and is forgiven (Lk. 15:8)!

1. Balz, H. R., & Schneider, G. (1990–). Exegetical Dictionary of the New Testament (Vol. 1, p. 181). Grand Rapids, Mich.: Eerdmans.